if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
