I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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