woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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