Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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