who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
