i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
should my penis look like a turkey
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
