So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
