Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
