Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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