Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
