I smell stomach acid.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
