is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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