ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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