areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
