well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
