I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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