the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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