So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
