I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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