If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
