Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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