Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Buhtt sex?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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