I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
