that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
