Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
