Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
