So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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