belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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