I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
