The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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