Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
