You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
