Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
