You surviving the open bar?
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He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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