He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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