help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
