Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
