She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
