i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
