But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
