You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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