if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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