I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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