Tell her she can't have a vagina
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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