its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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