We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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