Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
