Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
