either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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