He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I bet he comes in French.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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