come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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