Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
